When you’re cold and anxious to jump in the shower to spray the hot water over your frigid skin how much do you want to wait for the water to heat up? Not much, right? And as guys we feel the same about sex. Who wants to wait to order the food, get the appetizer and eat the main course? I already know what I want and that’s dessert! Well, as we know, most often women do not share those same view points. Where as we can always spark our own sexual fire as easy as lighting up a match, sometimes it feels like it’s as hard as rubbing two sticks together to start our woman’s “fire”.
Make no mistake women love act of sex as much as we do, but aren’t always ready to jump into it on the drop of a dime. As the man you must set the stage for love making, create the right mood. Women love to feel led during sex just like in dancing Salsa and there’s no easier way to do this then by mastering the art of touch. This is done by starting with sensual massage and leading it into sexual massage. Ease the tension, relax her then tantalize her erogenous zones. It’s similar to ice melting into water in a few steps. The process is a great turn on for both you and her, and is very enjoyable. Give first and you shall receive. Enjoy pleasing your woman and you’ll both be rewarded for it.
I like to create a relaxed and romantic mood for me and my girl so I use these 5 ingredients: instrumental music or nature sounds, musk aromatic sticks (this is very aphrodisiac), dim lighting, a simple soft sheet I can afford to allow oil to drip on and massage oil. Not all massage oils are the same. My two favorite brands are Kama Sutra (Original) and Tantric (Body Spice). These oils taste good (for oral sex) and heat up the skin easily. I prefer Tantric between the two since it remains slick for a long time rather than drying up faster. Tantric is harder to find in adult stores so you’ll need to do a Google search for it online. I recently found it for under $10 for a decent sized bottle that will last a long time. Think of yourself as a chef, you cannot cook without the right preparation, and chefs need the best ingredients.
Tell your woman that you’re going to give her a great massage that will ease all her stress and make her feel good. Then choose a couple of the following to do in the same session or just one of them.
3 Massage Tips to Create the Right Mood for Sex
1. Full Body Massage: rub some oil between your palms and have your lady lay on her stomach on the bed. Start with her shoulders, upper back and neck. The amount of pressure will depend on what she prefers. Use your thumbs to apply the pressure and don’t stay in one place for too long. Move up and down her arms and finish on her hands, pressing in between her fingers and then pulling down her fingers to the points. Alter kneading with just your thumb and also using long, downward strokes before you lifting up. Then start on her thighs one at a time down to the feet. Give a thorough foot massage. Once she’s relaxed work in the occasional buttocks massage and some kisses to her erogenous areas like her ear lobes and back of her neck. Sneak a few kisses and light sucks on her sides of her breasts. Tilt her over slightly to flick her nipples with your tongue. Gradually alter massage and light brief touches to the erogenous zones. Remember you want to ease your way into sex. Turn her on her stomach and return to her legs and feet.
Once she starts to positively respond to the sexual touches start with her vagina. Every girl likes to be touched differently, but for now vary your touches to different areas of her vagina. Don’t stay in one place for too long and change speeds. Build excitement up by not just focusing on her clitoris. When you do though, try lightly massaging her clitoris between your thumb and middle and index fingers. Use a motion similar to how you would rub salt off the tips of your fingers. Caress the sides of her vaginal walls in between her outer and inner lips, and the base. Ease into a rub of her G-spot with the tip of your middle finger or both middle and index fingers. This is found on the inside stomach side well above the clitoris. It is an area that at first feels smooth, then after a little rubbing will wrinkle up, similar to the texture of your scrotum. Not all women will find this pleasurable, but many will shake with excitement. At this point she will start to engage in the act with you or you could perform cunnilingus (oral sex performed on females) on her. This is an entirely different topic on its own, but become a master of cunnilingus and you’ll have her day dreaming about you while she’s at work.
2. Love Back Messages: It sounds simple, maybe even silly, bit girls love this! These create a more playful atmosphere to let her focus on the moment and not anything stressful in her life. Women don’t often like intense and serious foreplay at the very beginning. Have a little more playful fun first while mixing in the sensual and sexual touches. Write a message on her back and have her guess what it is. Keep the messages short, like, “You’re sexy.” Write flirty questions like, “Where do you want a kiss?” Between messages return to the massage. You’ll know she’s having fun when she keeps asking you to write the letters over again when she can’t figure them out. Work in gradual buttocks and leg massages leading to brief, caressing vaginal touches. After about 3 messages focus only on the massage then lead it into a full vaginal massage. You’ll both be hot and bothered at that point!
3. “Candy Back”: My own accidental invention. Much like the love messages the “candy back” is playful and achieves total relaxation. This is simply just a back massage while pretending to create a dessert on her back. You describe baking a cake or cookies (don’t worry, you don’t actually have to be a cook, remember, this is a massage). You mix the flour, add the sugar, knead the dough, push the dough all over the pan (her back) and add toppings and whatever ingredients you want. The more silly the ingredients, the more she’ll laugh, for example, mustard, ketchup, etc. Then you guessed it, you add in the massages and kisses to her erogenous areas and off you go.
Have your woman show you how she likes to be touched. How much pressure she wants you to apply, explore her body, both her genitals and all other areas. What has worked on other girls in the past may not work on your girl now. Keep your fingers and hands oiled at all times or her skin will become irritated. Learn to be good at massaging her and enjoy pleasing her first and you will be on the path to more enjoyable sex more often with less disappointment of hearing those depressing words, “I’m sorry, but I’m just not in the mood right now.”